Apprehension, worry and the risks before my latest surgery.

My surgery

As most of you will know I’ve been unwell for almost 4 months. It’s been the hardest few months of my life but I’m finally getting surgery on 7th September. So as I write this my surgery is only days away or for some reading this after the 7th of September I’ll already have had the surgery. So with the surgery being so close I just wanted to write a small post about my thoughts and my apprehensions going into having surgery again.

Don’t get me wrong it’s a massive relief to be finally getting the surgery that will hopefully sort all my issues. Every day I try to remain positive. However, with it now being only days away I’m finding myself plagued with apprehension and worries about all the ‘what if’ questions.

What if it doesn’t help? It could make things worse? What if something goes wrong with the surgery?

Obviously no surgery is without risks and my surgeon has discussed all these with me. The risks are small and I know I have a very skilled and well qualified surgeon. However, while I’m under anaesthetic and cut open with another 5 institutions in my chest and stomach anything could happen. That scares me and I have no control over it.

I'm giving my Son a big cuddle and letting him fall asleep in my arms
Cuddles before bedtime

Why the apprehension?

Last time I had this type of surgery in 2011 I wasn’t married and I didn’t have children so my outlook was totally different. I actually don’t remember having any worries at all. If I’m honest last time I didn’t even really know what I was having done. All I knew is it was going to stop me being sick after every meal.

This time around I have a wife and two young kids so I’m worried for myself and them too. These past few months have been just as hard for them as it has been for me. I also know exactly what’s happening to me this time around. Plus I’ve done a lot more research and spoken to a lot more people about the procedure. I think being more aware this time around and knowing what to expect having gone through it before has added to my apprehension.

I’m sure I’ll look back on this post and think ‘Why the hell did you write that?’.  But today this is how I’m feeling so I wanted to write it down to get it off my chest.

It’s only a few days away so I don’t have long to wait. Then hopefully all these worries and apprehensions will be gone but I want everything to be over now. I want to go back to work, play with my children, cuddle my wife, go out and feel okay. I want to be able to eat normally, not take medication every day and feel no pain. The list is endless….

I just want to go back to how things were 4 months ago. I will appreciate my life so much more and I will treasure every special moment with my children, wife, friends and family.

Me and my daughter enjoying ourselves in a hot tub
Hot tub fun
Speak to you post operation…

Anyway, I told you this would just be a brief post so now I’ve got that of my chest I’ll wrap things up here.

My next post will be post operation so I’ll speak to you all after and hopefully have some good news for you. Thank you for listening to my worries and apprehensions. If you have any words of advice or support please leave me a comment and say hello.

This real life Dad xx

If you’d like to keep up to date with how I’m getting on in hospital I’ll be updating my following social networks while I’m in before and after surgery.
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35 Comments

  1. The Indecisive Eejit

    September 4, 2017 at 9:10 pm

    Best of luck and here’s to hearing all about it on the other side 🙂

    1. Thisreallifedad

      September 4, 2017 at 9:18 pm

      Thanks a lot. X

  2. Lisa Pomerantz

    September 4, 2017 at 9:14 pm

    Good luck, feel well, and may all your worries be answered in a positive way

    1. Thisreallifedad

      September 4, 2017 at 9:19 pm

      Appreciate it Lisa. I really hope they will be. You’ll all be the first to hear.

  3. Nancy Beagle

    September 4, 2017 at 9:50 pm

    Ask for pain and nausea meds. Heating pad and gentle walks as tolerated. Lots of help and rest. Distractions work. Thx for sharing your inspiring journey!!

    1. Thisreallifedad

      September 4, 2017 at 9:54 pm

      I will, I’ve just had to take oral morph tonight for the first time in a few days. 😣 thank you for commenting and following my journey. It really helps to have people who have had similar experiences to speak to. X

  4. litolmaeandlolly

    September 4, 2017 at 10:17 pm

    Hope all goes well, I will be sending you positive, healing thoughts, stay strong and fill your mind with your beautiful family.

    1. Thisreallifedad

      September 4, 2017 at 9:21 pm

      Again thank you. Next few days I’ll keep busy and take my mind off it. X

  5. Natasha

    September 4, 2017 at 10:53 pm

    Best of luck to you and your family. Sending prayers for a speeding recovery.

    1. Thisreallifedad

      September 4, 2017 at 9:55 pm

      Thank you so much Natasha. X

  6. Matthew Blythe

    September 4, 2017 at 11:50 pm

    Sending loads of positivity. Look forward to seeing everything went ok.

    1. Thisreallifedad

      September 4, 2017 at 10:53 pm

      Cheers buddy. I’m sure it will, you lot will be the first to hear.

  7. Unbound Roots

    September 5, 2017 at 4:43 am

    Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way that your surgery goes smoothly, recovery is quick, and feeling great is just over the horizon. Hugs to you and your family!

    1. Thisreallifedad

      September 5, 2017 at 9:43 pm

      Thank you. Appreciate it Erin. X

  8. theelephantmum

    September 5, 2017 at 7:31 am

    I totally relate to your worries. Responsibilities and goals are completely different when you have kids. Best of luck, looking forward to reading your posts when you will be back!

    1. Thisreallifedad

      September 5, 2017 at 9:45 pm

      I’m so pleased you will be back to follow my story. Hopefully there won’t be many more about my illness. X

  9. Kirsty

    September 5, 2017 at 9:35 am

    Wishing lots of luck and positive vibes that this will be the final fix and you can get back to enjoying family life 🙂

    1. Thisreallifedad

      September 5, 2017 at 9:46 pm

      Thanks Kirsty. Heres hoping it’s the final fix. X

  10. Karen Dennis

    September 5, 2017 at 12:02 pm

    I understand exactly what you are feeling, I had surgery to remove a benign brain tumour in 2009, thankfully it went well and I recovered relatively quickly, wishing you a speedy recovery also#dreamteam@_karendennis

    1. Thisreallifedad

      September 5, 2017 at 9:48 pm

      Thank you Karen. Heres hoping for a speedy recovery.

  11. tinmccarthy

    September 5, 2017 at 2:11 pm

    Sending you positive vibes for recovery and health!
    #dreamteam

    1. Thisreallifedad

      September 5, 2017 at 9:48 pm

      Thank you x

  12. dearmummyblog

    September 5, 2017 at 6:45 pm

    Good luck! My mummy knows that feeling having undergone 2 surgeries this year. It’s pretty daunting especially being a parent. I’m sure it will be a success and look forward to seeing you make a speedy recovery and find out what’s going on. #DreamTeam

    1. Thisreallifedad

      September 5, 2017 at 9:41 pm

      Thank you. Time will tell but I’m confident everything will be fine and I’ll be fighting for again soon. X

  13. My Krazy Life

    September 5, 2017 at 10:09 pm

    I am praying that God’s hand of protection will be upon you and the surgeons as you go through you procedure. Blog On!

    1. Thisreallifedad

      September 5, 2017 at 9:34 pm

      Thank you so much. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated.

  14. lupiemama

    September 6, 2017 at 3:21 am

    Good luck with the surgery! I pray that you will soon be pain free.

  15. Rob Jackson

    September 6, 2017 at 4:25 am

    The waiting can be the worst part, I’m sure. Here’s hoping this will be the final step toward healing, and that all will be well afterward! Best of luck to you, sir!

  16. Mrs T

    September 6, 2017 at 10:53 am

    Best of luck ThisRealLifeDad, in July I had unexpected stomach surgery. Get all the pain and anti nausea meds you can especially in the first 24 hours once whatever they give you in theatre wears off. I found being in recovery a bit of a shock but the nurses will look after you. Take it bit by bit and you will be back on your feet. X

  17. Lacy Ngo

    September 6, 2017 at 12:12 pm

    It is so different after having kids that need you. I hope you don’t mind if I say a prayer for you. I could relate to every question and worry you mentioned. My son just had a successful surgery, and I was so worried pre-op. I am glad you shared this. I shared our experience on a blog post as well. I hope that both our post provide comfort to others.

  18. Isabel Freitas

    September 6, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    Hey Michael, I think you were very brave to write about all those feelings. I’m a mom to two kids myself and I totally understand your concerns. I think everyone in your position would be scared and apprehensive. It’s hard not to when there’s people you love and care so much about. I pray for you and for your family. May God bless this surgery and may He give you peace as you go into the surgery room.

  19. Kerry LifeandLoves

    September 6, 2017 at 10:04 pm

    Im sure you must feel totally apprehensive, but you are right, we are lucky in the skill our surgeons have here. My own husband has recently been in hospital for a month after major surgery, and he is home and doing well. You’ve got this, all the best

  20. itsnotallcute

    September 8, 2017 at 11:21 am

    Hope all went well and you are recovering quickly. Love to you and your family. I’m sure they will enjoy spoiling and taking care of you as you recover xo

  21. bridiebythesea

    September 12, 2017 at 11:50 am

    Sending you so much love, I don’t blame you for being apprenhensive about it but I’m sure it’ll all go well and hope the recovery goes well. Thanks for linking up to #dreamteam x

  22. Rachel Craig

    September 14, 2017 at 12:28 pm

    Hope all has gone well with your surgery. Not sure if you shared your concerns with the appropriate medical / nursing, etc staff :- As they would likely have aimed to meet your needs. Sharing concerns can allow them to answer questions, organise resources which can be of help to you etc. Best Wishes to you and your family.

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