Last two weeks in review.

My past few weeks have been tough to say the least. So, as I’m a real life Dad I think it’s only fair I let know all about my bad weeks as well as my good weeks. So here’s what has been happening over the last few weeks and why I’ve not been able to write as much as I would have liked to. 

Let me start by saying I’ve tried, I’ve written for hours and hours, then I deleted the whole lot. My mind and focus just wasn’t there.

I should have had lots of things to say too, my son Arran turned 6 months on the 7th July, our 5 year wedding anniversary was on the 14th, we had my sisters-in-laws wedding and our nieces stayed for a week. All things that would have been great happy posts but I struggled turning these happy events into words, most likely because it was such a challenging week for me and I was struggling to find ‘my happy thoughts’.

As I said, we had my sister-in-laws wedding on the 6th July, you may or may not have seen some of my Instagram updates from during the day. It was a long day for me, however, I think I did pretty well, all things considered. I pushed myself hard, probably too hard to be honest, but I really wanted to see the service and get at least one picture of my family with the bride and groom. Which I managed (mainly thanks to my best friend Morphine), while other times I had to go for a lie down and missed hours of the day. It was an amazing day, I couldn’t fault anything, the staff were great and even knocked me up some delicious puree chicken, veg and potato soup. The venue and setting were perfect, even the weather was glorious, which for the North of Scotland is never a given.

Me, Ruth, Bride and Groom

The following week we had our two nieces to stay while the happy couple jetted off to New York on their honeymoon. Which meant my wife now had to care for me, our two kids and also our two nieces. To be fair, all the kids were good as gold, slept all night and most days they had something exciting like; trips to the beach, soft play cinema, park or library to look forward to. Unfortunately for me I couldn’t get involved in any of the trips, not only would there have been no room in the car, I would never have been able to help out without causing myself more pain.

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So whilst everyone was out enjoying themselves, I was at home struggling and letting everything get to me, which is not like me. So I called my GP for an appointment to discuss things and to see if there was anything that could be done. He was fantastic, it was so nice to be taken seriously and treated with compassion. He also suggested my mood might have been made worse as I was weaning off one of my pain medications, that was something that hadn’t crossed my mind but after discussing it with him it made prefect sense.  To top it off he even managed to get me referred back into hospital the following morning to see a senior consultant.

So the next morning, on our 5 year wedding anniversary, my wife was so busy with all the kids so instead my mum came over to collect me to take me into hospital. Which wasn’t ideal, but I was feeling positive and determined to get answers. Ten weeks of going back and forth to the same ward you soon get to know familiar faces and everyone is so lovely, which is nice.

I went through the usual routine to see the on call consultant, only to be told that he didn’t think there is anything extra they could do for me in hospital. I felt deflated; sent home in tears, in pain with no more answers, no plan, no closer to a diagnosis and not even an indication of treatment for the future. Just sent home to wait for an appointment.

We have also been urgently referred down to Edinburgh to see a highly recommended surgeon, so we are hopeful that he might have more options or answers for us and possibly in a shorter timescale. Until then all I can do is liase with my G.P and dietian to keep me comfortable and try not lose any more weight.

So that was my last two weeks and that’s where we are now. We are playing the waiting game. I’m still nowhere near being fixed, but right now I’m okay. I’m at home with my wife, my kids, and I’m feeling happier in myself.

I’m sure I’ll have many more hard days and weeks ahead, but that’s okay and I know as a family we are stronger than ever and we’ll get through them.

Thanks for reading

This real life Dad xx


  1. Our Twisted Fairy Tale

    July 17, 2017 at 11:44 pm

    I live with multiple chronic illnesses, so your post really spoke to me.

    1. thisreallifedad

      July 17, 2017 at 10:46 pm

      It’s hard most days, it’s impossible others. But at the end of the day we’re all just trying to live as normal and as happy as we can.

  2. Shaun Eaton

    July 18, 2017 at 7:07 pm

    Hope something comes up in your favour soon dude. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. Hang in there bud!

    1. thisreallifedad

      July 18, 2017 at 7:20 pm

      Cheers Shaun. How’s Everly and the family?

  3. themummybubbleblog

    July 19, 2017 at 8:20 am

    Sending you lots of positive vibes. Really hope you get the diagnosis and treatment you need. #fortheloveofblog

  4. Heather Keet

    July 19, 2017 at 8:40 am

    I’m sorry you struggled so much and I hope there is a turning point soon. #fortheloveofBLOG

    1. thisreallifedad

      July 19, 2017 at 7:53 am

      It’s okay, I’m always in pain but I have good and bad days. This week has been a good week so far.

  5. thetaleofmummyhood

    July 19, 2017 at 9:04 am

    I hope you get some answers soon. Family are the best for keeping your spirits up! #fortheloveofblog

    1. thisreallifedad

      July 19, 2017 at 3:43 pm

      Thanks. They certainly do that.

  6. amybeingmum

    July 19, 2017 at 2:14 pm

    You did amazing on our wedding day & it meant so much to us to be able to see your face there!!! You have done so well to stay as positive as u have through everything! It says a lot about your strength of character! I cant wait for you to be better, not just for you, ruth & the kids but selfishly because i miss you & your company!! Get well soon big bro!! In the meantime we all love you & are here for u! Xx

    1. thisreallifedad

      July 19, 2017 at 3:58 pm

      Thanks sis. I tried. Hopefully there are a few good pics and maybe one with me in it.
      Hopefully soon, but God only knows when the surgery will be.

  7. Angela Milnes

    July 19, 2017 at 7:04 pm

    Sorry ot hear you are no closer to getting answers. That can be really frustrating. I like morphine but am currently not on pain medication. Nice to discover your blog.

  8. My Sunday photo – Father and son bonding | This real life Dad

    July 22, 2017 at 11:23 pm

    […] this photo in particular because over the last few months due to the nature and position of my illness I’ve not been able to hold my children very often due to the pain it causes. Especially Arran […]

  9. Emma (emmaology)

    July 24, 2017 at 6:17 am

    I hope they find some answers for you soon, it must be awful not knowing what’s wrong and being unable to do as much with your family. Fingers crossed for you #fortheloveofBLOG

  10. Peachy

    July 24, 2017 at 4:15 pm

    Illness is never fun but it seems ten time worse when you’re a parent. There is always the desire to take part in the lives of our little ones, the workload is unending, and parents don’t get days off. It can be pretty overwhelming. But you have a beautiful family to stand by you and help you get through it and that makes it all worth it. Thanks for linking with #fortheloveofBLOG

    1. thisreallifedad

      July 24, 2017 at 3:19 pm

      Thank you for reading and commenting. Thai goodness for my family, they are my rock.

  11. Anthony - Dada & Monkey

    July 24, 2017 at 5:57 pm

    I think it’s incredibly commendable that you’re sharing every aspect of your journey. I’m inbetween appointments too and although its troubling and stressful it doesn’t sound as painful.

    Writing is good for the soul,I’ve recently written to get the anger of my situation off my chest then simply deleted it. It’s a good way of dealing with those negative emotions.

    1. thisreallifedad

      July 24, 2017 at 6:21 pm

      I write constantly then delete it all. I always worry I’m sharing too much that nobody wants to read. Normally my illness posts do best so maybe people like to know what’s happening. Plus some days It does help pick me up and gives me a purpose. Hope all is well with you too.

  12. livesofman

    August 8, 2017 at 2:52 pm

    Thanks for sharing. Tough story. Hope things start to get more controllable for you soon. Don’t delete the content. My instinct would be to share it all, worst case – archive it somewhere, don’t delete.

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