Last two weeks in review.
My past few weeks have been tough to say the least. So, as I’m a real life Dad I think it’s only fair I let know all about my bad weeks as well as my good weeks. So here’s what has been happening over the last few weeks and why I’ve not been able to write as much as I would have liked to.
Let me start by saying I’ve tried, I’ve written for hours and hours, then I deleted the whole lot. My mind and focus just wasn’t there.
I should have had lots of things to say too, my son Arran turned 6 months on the 7th July, our 5 year wedding anniversary was on the 14th, we had my sisters-in-laws wedding and our nieces stayed for a week. All things that would have been great happy posts but I struggled turning these happy events into words, most likely because it was such a challenging week for me and I was struggling to find ‘my happy thoughts’.
As I said, we had my sister-in-laws wedding on the 6th July, you may or may not have seen some of my Instagram updates from during the day. It was a long day for me, however, I think I did pretty well, all things considered. I pushed myself hard, probably too hard to be honest, but I really wanted to see the service and get at least one picture of my family with the bride and groom. Which I managed (mainly thanks to my best friend Morphine), while other times I had to go for a lie down and missed hours of the day. It was an amazing day, I couldn’t fault anything, the staff were great and even knocked me up some delicious puree chicken, veg and potato soup. The venue and setting were perfect, even the weather was glorious, which for the North of Scotland is never a given.
The following week we had our two nieces to stay while the happy couple jetted off to New York on their honeymoon. Which meant my wife now had to care for me, our two kids and also our two nieces. To be fair, all the kids were good as gold, slept all night and most days they had something exciting like; trips to the beach, soft play cinema, park or library to look forward to. Unfortunately for me I couldn’t get involved in any of the trips, not only would there have been no room in the car, I would never have been able to help out without causing myself more pain.
So whilst everyone was out enjoying themselves, I was at home struggling and letting everything get to me, which is not like me. So I called my GP for an appointment to discuss things and to see if there was anything that could be done. He was fantastic, it was so nice to be taken seriously and treated with compassion. He also suggested my mood might have been made worse as I was weaning off one of my pain medications, that was something that hadn’t crossed my mind but after discussing it with him it made prefect sense. To top it off he even managed to get me referred back into hospital the following morning to see a senior consultant.
So the next morning, on our 5 year wedding anniversary, my wife was so busy with all the kids so instead my mum came over to collect me to take me into hospital. Which wasn’t ideal, but I was feeling positive and determined to get answers. Ten weeks of going back and forth to the same ward you soon get to know familiar faces and everyone is so lovely, which is nice.
I went through the usual routine to see the on call consultant, only to be told that he didn’t think there is anything extra they could do for me in hospital. I felt deflated; sent home in tears, in pain with no more answers, no plan, no closer to a diagnosis and not even an indication of treatment for the future. Just sent home to wait for an appointment.
We have also been urgently referred down to Edinburgh to see a highly recommended surgeon, so we are hopeful that he might have more options or answers for us and possibly in a shorter timescale. Until then all I can do is liase with my G.P and dietian to keep me comfortable and try not lose any more weight.
So that was my last two weeks and that’s where we are now. We are playing the waiting game. I’m still nowhere near being fixed, but right now I’m okay. I’m at home with my wife, my kids, and I’m feeling happier in myself.
I’m sure I’ll have many more hard days and weeks ahead, but that’s okay and I know as a family we are stronger than ever and we’ll get through them.
Thanks for reading
This real life Dad xx